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He stood up early in the morning, jumped into last day's clothes, threw a glimpse at the newspaper, checked for the keys in his pocket and went out of the door, locking it twice behind him.

He drove 5 miles to the agency, delivered his work, got a bunch of new one,stayed for 12 unnerving hours. Then he jumped off the building.

Bill adams was not this kind of person.

His mind was different from what is widely considered as being normal. He knew that and he kept it a secret. He has got himself into this state of timelessness, driven by the clarity of a vision beyond, well conscious of never leaving the real world. It was not the kind of freak-out he had expected in the first place, but after he got over the first dissatisfaction, Adams realized slowly that the world had - in an almost sickeningly weird way - changed. It turned out not to be like falling asleep and never waking up, even not like the psychedelic trips or out-of-body experiences he read of.

Adams looked up right into the glare of a hot summer sun.
It wasn't hot up here.
He lowered his head and tried to focus on the surface, trying to make out details, distinct features of landscape, buildings, streets, people...
a cool breeze caressed his skin.
He was somewhere down there and around the spot that was himself, another person came into shape.

"Cut that shit out, i don't wanna hear any more of your crap!"
Her words hit him like a thunder-stroke. "I'm sorry, please, I'm sorry." He tried in the softest voice he could manage. "I'm tired of your excuses, you are not getting another chance! Get out of my house!"

But he was too far away to hear, his wife's voice faded into a soft, soothing hum of the most pleasant harmonics.

"I can go anywhere."

Off he went, drifting through the clouds, gaining speed and the vast, blue ball beneath him shrunken to a basketball, a Ping-Pong-ball, a blue spot in the darkness and finally completely out of sight.

"Get moving, I'm not joking!" She knew it was rage that spoke out of her. Her husband didn't attempt to leave, he just kept standing where he was wearing the same expressionless face as always. That surely made her angry. "Stop playing your tricks!"

Behind the anger she recognized something else: Strange as it was her voice sounded subtly different and suddenly she became unsure about what she actually said an instant before. She also felt lighter, much lighter, her field of view became somehow enriched and in a timeless second she became aware of her whole environment at once. Becoming conscious of how funny the whole situation was, how funny the clock at the wall was and how funny herself was, realizing how funny it was.
She liked it, this twisted feeling. She liked it so much that she forgot her husband, her house, the whole world around her.
She liked it so much that she forgot that she was there at all.

It was a cold place and a quiet place.
He wondered if he ever experienced such a peaceful situation.
It was a dark place, there was not a hint at any direction.

Just consciousness.

He tried to hold on to reality, conjured up several pictures and filmstrips of his past, everything fading into the giant nothing as soon as it became remembered. Adams - that was his name - became aware of his memories fading. He tried a little more desperately and became infinitely sad as he realized that it didn't work out the way he expected at all. Then he forgot this too and only sadness remained until it was wept out by the void as well. Himself dissolved into the void becoming aware of nothing.

(jco, 14.07.2004 01:03)